Where I've Been

Paradise is only having to do the things you want to do. Life is having to do the things that you don't want to do.
~Don V. Bangert, III

It's been an "interesting" couple of weeks. As you may have noticed, my blogging has fallen off to near nothing. There's a reason for that. About a week and a half ago, my wife handed me a pregnancy test that showed we were pregnant. While this is amazing in itself, what is astounding about that event is that we didn't think we could have any children. So, you can imagine my surprise to see that we were expecting.

Understand this: we've not had the best luck in the child department. Our history shows one miscarriage and two ectopic pregnancies. For some reason, it seems that natures god is hell-bent on not letting us have a child. Its been a rough row to hoe, but it's been almost eleven years since our last foray into this arena. This is why I said we didn't think we could have children. After the two ectopic pregnancies, we figured the last remaining tube was damaged so badly that it wasn't allowing eggs to pass.

Naturally, our first reaction to a positive pregnancy test was to get an ultrasound to make sure the baby was in the uterus. The last thing we wanted to do was have a third ectopic pregnancy. Last Friday, we received confirmation from radiology that the embryo was where it was suppose to be. (Happy, happy! Joy, joy!) It was not to last.

Sunday morning, my wife told me that she began spotting, and Sunday evening saw what looked like a "normal" period beginning. As anyone who's experienced a miscarriage can tell you, this is never a good sign that your having a normal pregnancy. We went into the doctor's office on Monday (who, I might add, was an incredibly compassionate doctor) for a pelvic exam.

The doctor informed us that the uterus was still closed (good news!), but said that only gives us about a ten percent chance that the embryo is still inside (bad news!). Our hopes for a child are riding on a ten percent chance. Wednesday, my wife has another ultrasound scheduled. They should be able to tell if it is still in there or not. That will be a little bit more "life" we'll have to endure then. I've got my fingers crossed.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch... When my wife and I first got married, she drug me down to a pet shop in Marysville to look at the cutest little floppy-eared Black Lab puppy she ever saw. We didn't have to buy him, she told me. She just wanted me to see him. She was right. He was just too damned cute. Needless to say, he came home with us. He's been the best dog anyone could ask for. Our companion and protector for over thirteen years, he's become one of our children.

About two weeks ago, we noticed he wasn't eating his food like he normally does. To make matters worse, he went into his dog house and refused to come out. We ended up having to take the roof off and pushing him out. Our 100 pound masculine dog withered away into a 55 pound cancer patient. I'll save you all the gruesome details. Monday, we noticed that he was leaking blood from his penis. That's not good. It usually means organ failure. We also discovered some rather large (golf ball sized) knots around his neck. We suspected, and our vet confirmed they were cancer.

Yesterday, on top of everything else, we had to let poor Moglie go. Man, I'm going to miss him! I'm just thankful I got to share in his life. It still hurts to think he's gone. The only consolation is to know that he no longer hurts. I love you, Mo, and I'll miss you, my friend.

Like I said at the beginning, Life is having to do the things that you don't want to do.

(Note: This post has not been proof-read. To be quite frank, it was hard enough to write the first time through.)